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Stories from the Week
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Airborne Yom Kippur ritual for locked down Melbourne Jews
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The super observant Jews are very much letter of the law, but simultaneously they’re also very spirit of the law. Except instead of reinterpreting 3000 year old instructions of how to live the good life, to actually continue to result in living the good life, they reinterpret everything to mean life should be on a higher difficulty setting.
The elevator switch is a perfect example:
Jews are not allowed to “do work” on the sabbath and holy days.
You would think that taking the elevator to the 12th floor with the simple press of a button would be less work than walking up the stairs… But you’d be wrong.
In Judaism, Work is creating something new that wasn’t before, or carrying things outside or into the house. And everything was fine until electricity came along:
Flipping a switch sure is easy, but making a lightbulb turn on, creates light, which is new, which is work, which is forbidden on sabbath and holy days.
So light timers were implemented, and suddenly it’s not work to make the light turn on when it gets dark on Friday, because the work was done before sabbath… And everything was fine, until one Jew learned how electronics work:
So now, in order to comply with the spirit of the law of not working on sabbath and holy days, they stick to the strict letter of the law that forbids them from creating something new, and they’re avoiding anything electronic because in order to affect an electronic controlled anything, the pressing of the button closes an electric circuit, which is creating something new, which is forbidden on sabbath and holy days.
And so they invest time, money and effort to create “reversed” electronics, in which the electronic circuits are always closed, and the activation of the controller is done by breaking said closed circuits, which is allowed on sabbath and holy days.
Also, women sinning half as much is actually quite close to reality (or whatever those people do… LARPing?), because according to Judaism, women have less religious obligations by way of the religion’s OCD and learning the minutiae of centuries and millennia old arguments about meaningless or stupid things (like what did god mean by this portion of text, or who own the calf that one’s cow birthed into the womb of another’s cow, which in turn birthed it back out), so they have lower chances of sinning.
This is also how they justify the religion’s misogyny: by arguing that because women have less “divine” obligations, they have more earthly obligations. Like being a housewife, having a job to support her husband and kids, and be pregnant as often as possible… All at the same time.
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